Quite uninteresting but sometimes funny…

Had a friday in this weekend, due to packing on saturday. While me an AJ sat in the sofa watching something and being a bit mellow, we suddenly heard screaming outside. Off course it was the return of the pikeys! There was like 12-15 of them now and they had a bunch of girls hanging around. Oh, man, the abuse that poor guy in the shell garage got! One of the pikeys took the water hose and started spraying around like a fucking idiot. Then they chased a man to his har and then chased the car like there where dogs or something! And all the time the girls where giggling thinking they’re sooo funny! Ive met several braindead guys like those pikeys and they are just a bunch of loosers.

Me and AJ had fun  tho, watching them, like betting on whos gonna hit who and stuff. But to be serious, what kind of utter loosers would hang out by a shell garage at 2 in the morning in Surbiton??! Lucky me, we’re moving TODAY! So no more pikeys!

Tonight is my last night (hopefully forever) in Surbiton! I cant wait! This weekend we’re in Jersey, but the weekend after is a long bankholiday one, so Im gonna celebrate my birthday then and I def plan on doing some proper damage to London Town! I want to get so drunk Im gonna crawl home! Ok, not really, but almost. And I want to wake up the next day and have hangover breckie with IL on Costa!

Btw, todays song tip is: The Velvettes with “Needle In a Haystack”

PUSS

Found on www.tjuvlyssnat.se:

Frasses, Härnösand

En tjej och en kille ~18 sitter och äter.
Tjejen: Jag är förresten kär!
Killen: Oj, det gick fort. Tell me the story!
Tjejen: Jag såg på Twilight och nu är jag helt kär i Robert Pattinson…
Killen (uppgivet): Nej, inte du också! Vi män får faktiskt komplex!
Tjejen (drömmande): Han är så sexig, nu vill jag verkligen ha en vampyrkille.
Killen: Jag vet inte en enda tjej som inte har blivit förvrängd av den där jävla vampyrfilmen. Den borde fan förbjudas, den rubbar liksom hela ekosystemet av människor. Det är inte så att vi kommer dö ut av kärnvapenkrig eller växthuseffekten, ni kvinnor kommer vägra ha sex med män bara för att de inte är Robert Pattinson!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Well I cant say the guy is wrong, Robert Pattinson IS hot! but Ive paxed him, so I dont have to worry, hehe!

Recived this email in my inbox today with a link to a site that sells penis enlargements.

“This is yoour penis: 8–o
This is yoour penis on drugs: 8=====O
Any  questions?”

I do have some questions.

First of all, I didnt know I had a penis! Does everyone else know? Am I the only one who didnt know this?

Second, I cant find said penis. Maybe because its so small (as the spam says), but I tell ya, Ive been looking all over for my penis, and I still cant find it! Very frustrating.

Third, would I benefit from a larger penis? Im not entirely sure about that. I know for a fact that AJ would not like me having one and Im not sure I would either.

Fourth, am I alone in this, or do women in general have little penises hiding somewhere?

Ive got so many questions but no one seems to have any answers! Dear readers, if you know what to do, please contact me! Im a bit worried here…

Many of you dont know that I have a brother called Don Giovanni. I know hes my brother and all, but if  he wasnt, I def would. He is gorgeous! Started to think about him. Im still at work and to distract me from the office world im listening to the top 100 classics. And with classics I mean classical music. So no wonder that I started to think of him when I heard Mozart’s “Don Giovanni” in my headphones.

His best friend is a man name Ulv, a handsome man, yes, but not at all as handsome as my brother, Giovanni. Maybe I should show you a photo. But dont come crying to me when you want his phonenumber, he doesnt have one. He just sails the seas as he please (a bit like a pirate if you will) with his companions Ulv and Antonio…

Hm, when I have found a nice photo of him, I promise I will publish it!

XX

P

I got in to the office about an hour ago and after some emails, Im now drinking a cuppa and thinking over my life. Ive just bought a bed for nearly £700, the delivery on just the frame was £55! And Im going to buy more things. Sofas and whatnot. Obviously AJ is gonna pay for half and that makes me a little scared.

Im a grown up now!

I buy furniture, and spend more money on a flat because its comfortable instead of living in a cheap room sharing with four other spanish/polish/swedish people. Im about to buy paintings and I plan my future. Dont get me wrong, I do love AJ, but what the hell!? When did I grow up? I compleatly missed it and now suddenly Im there. I didnt think that I would say this, but going back to being 20 wouldnt be to bad. All I did then was partying and fucking around, working and get drunk and hang out with my friends every day. And now? Things change, people change their prioritys, as have I, but didint end to soon? I dont know. In one way I couldnt be happier right now and in one way I wis I was 20 again. Damn ageing!

Btw, Im still in love with Robert Pattinson so its no more than right that I say PAX! Hes mine!Hehe!

XX

P

Started to talk with IL the other day about my insane relatives. Ive got a huge family with second cousins here and there and a family that goes back hundreds of years. IL still remeber the story I told her about when my grandmother ate strawberrys as a child. The story basically is that she had to eat them with crackers, cause otherwise, they would taste to good! My grandmother never passed on that tradition (thank god!) and let us eat them with cream, like normal people.

On my fathers side I have and never ending stream of relatives that either have crazy names that sound insane (cant publish it here thou I really, really want too! Something like Humpty Dumpty anyway, haha!) or they are crazy for real. And because my grandmothers family was on the the finer bit of society theres is bastard sons and daughters that where adopted to other familys by birth (the shame!) and the not so thrilling fact that my grandmothers parents where second cousins! I find that part strange and mildly disgusting but at the time I guess it was ok. And it did in the end resulted in me and my sister, so I guess I have to be ok with that.

On my mothers side, they’re all hillbillys. One of them is a disgusting junkie that tried to hit on me the last time I saw him, and hes my first cousin! Strange as it may be, sex with relatives do not “push the button” as one says. They all get engaged at 14 and have kids early, or join Hare Krishna and simular. Sometimes i think its a wonder that my mum turned out to be normal!

Well, now work is awaiting!

See ya!

xx

Sorry for the non writing, have been occupied by absolutely nothing. Spend friday at home and saturday cleaning the flat…alone… AJ’s brother is going to help us move so he demanded som extra help from AJ with building a extention to his house and because we had someone coming over to view the flat on saturday night, I had to clean it by myself. Hard work I tell ya.

I was supposed to meet up with IL saturday night, but being tired as hell after cleaning all day I cancelled and decided to meet up with her on sunday. So I stayed in watching “rented” movies. Saw “Twilight” and absolutely fell in love with Robert Pattinson. Of course I have had a screen crush on him since his Cedric Diggory days, but this completely made me fall all over again. AJ wasnt to happy about me gushing over him, of course, haha! So when I went in to see IL on sunday for coffe, I also bought the first three books in the twilight series. Im such a sucker for them now. I started reading the first one late last afternoon and now Ive almost finished it. AJ is grumpy cause Im paying no attention to him whatsoever, haha!

In exactly a week we will be signing the contract for our new flat! I can wait!!!!!!!!!! I will be living around the corner from IL and in the city! Im so happy!

Well, now I really got to get back to work. And by work, I mean continuing reading twilight, of course.

xx

P

I have just finished a Facebook profile for work. Its got my name on it, but its work related. I might have to get a work related Twitter as well! It feels…strange…talk about modern times.

Today it was confirmed that Christian is coming to London! He has been whining about it for a yr and a half now and have finally booked some time off. he is going to be the first on in our new guestroom! Im very excited about the fact that me and AJ will have a guestroom in the new flat. Ive always (since I moved out from the parents) lived in rather small flats, sharing with loads of others, but now Im gonna live in my own, two bedroom flat! Ok, not my own, Im gonna share with AJ, but we’re a couple so thats different.

Have finally found a bed, btw. Its 5ft wide and 7ft long…and cost £607…and thats the cheap alternative… Thats shit you gotta take if you’re tall. Its pricey like hell.

Well, well…

Gotta go!

P

Ive just read an article in todays Metro about a woman trying to get her son laid. This is not a joke. The son is 21 and has Downs syndrome and the mum is going on about that people with downs shouldnt be let out and so on. And I do get her point, just because he has Downs, that doesnt mean that he shouldnt “get it on”, but to go out with it in Metro? Thats just…I dont even have words for it. She describes hir room as

“stuffed full of condoms which he buys everytime he goes to the pub with his friends and his collection of pornography is staggering”.

We get it, the poor guy wants to get laid, who wouldnt in his situation? But to have his mum telling every Londoner reading Metro that she “would have no problem if he went to a brothel in Amsterdam” and that she signed him up to dating sites? Thats just wrong. The only quote from the guy goes: ” Im looking for girlfriends everywhere” and the article end up with saying that the pair will be on telly on thursday (Natalie Cassidy’s Real Britain on BBC3).

The people of this godforsaken country just keep on amazing me.

Over and out

P

ps btw, cant she just buy the guy a sexdoll until he finds a girlfriend? I know its not the same thing, but still, if he wants to get laid that soon and still not getting it from the local pub maybe its time for something new?

On friday it was Rednose Day for Comic Relief. Now, Im all for CR, I even gave some money to it, but theres a thing or two that I dont like.

Scouts. Or let me start from the beginning. Sainsburys is working together with CR selling red clown noses and other things to promote and bring in money to CR. I do not have a problem with this, the problem is scouts.

Scouts.

When I, tired as hell, walked in to Sainsburys on friday evening after work, to grab myself a New York cheescake (diet doesnt start until april…wait, I dont want to diet in Jersey. Ok, diet starts after Jersey!) I saw that the whole shop was filled with screaming scouts!
Then I realised their purpose when I was paying for said cheescake (and some other stuff…couldnt just buy a cheesecake, now could I?). They where packing your groceries and then you had to give them money. Obviously money that would go to CR, but still! I dont want some dirty little 8yr old thouching my cheesecake! And when I stood there, even after I said no to help with packing, they kept on stairing at me and standing in my way. Fucking annoying if you ask me!

Then on saturday, I had to go in to Sainsburys again. It was mine and AJs one yr anniversary and we decided to stay in due to me still being deaf. While my dear other half was cleaning up the flat that basically looked like a crack den, I went for the food. And dont you thing those scout fuckers where there that day as well! But one of the worst things happened when I was looking for a pound so I could get a trolley out. And, well, that might have taken me a little while, and maybe a let out a small sigh, but I had just put on makeup and I looked fricking stunning!
When I finally get my trolley and turn around, theres a grown woman in a kids clown wig that looks at me and say:

“Aw, you look tired”

I just walked away. “You look tired”! Thats not something you say to a prefect stranger in a supermarket. Especially not if youre wearing a clown wig.

And then, there where more scouts byt the tills! And these fricking refused to move and looked very surly that I didnt give them money. I dont have time for little brats standing in my way. I dont even like kids that are related to me, so why should I find these adorable? Ich dont think so!

Rest of the weekend was spent in pece and quiet. Quiet mostly cause I still have a problem hearing. Or I thought I had my hearing back on friday when I was watching TV and I actuially could hear what they where saying. That was until AJ came home and said It was so loud, he heard the TV before he got in…eh…so apparently my hearing wasnt magically back, the TV was just turned up loud.

Ah, well, what to do other than taking my meds and wait and see.

Cheers

P

ps Ive got a new stalker. His name is “Drivers” and he sell drivers. Mmmmm…