Quite uninteresting but sometimes funny…

Ok, today it will happen! At least ONE hour of work! And by work I mean typing on that novel thats never gonna be published (but a girl can dream!). One hour isnt that bad is it?

This is just typical, when I have a real job I get thousands of ideas and spend lunchbreaks scribbling away in my notepad, but as soon as Im unemployed and have all the time in the world to spend on my projects, I just rather take a walk or meet up with a friend for coffee. On Tuesday we had lovley weather so I went for a long walk then. Yesterday I stayed in cause of shit weather and decided to do some work but got absolutely nothing done. Today we have nice weather again but today I dont care. There must be an end to my lazyness!

So now work…no more blog writing/reading…

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You filthy man Bob! When I wrote fluids (even though it was a bad choice of words, I give you that) I mean like juice, beer, wine, water etc, not sperm! Im not going in to that discussion here knowing a few people that read this blog are way better off not knowing. And by that i mean all readers.

Anyway, have been typing away all day (thats a lie, Ive been watching bad movies) and went to the gym for a 2h workout (also a lie). I have certainly not been a lazy cow today at all! (stilly lying).

Ok, bad news:

1. I have a cold/earinfection coming on after my brisk hour long walk by the river yesterday

2. I have no money

3. I have no job

4. My little sister is coming on Sunday and the only thing I have to offer for dinner is tinned cat food (mmm, Whiskas!)

5. Even my cats hate the tinned Whiskas food. Seriously, didnt their slogan used to be “Whiskas, if the cat themself can decide” or something?

Good news

1. My little sister is coming! I have missed her so much!

2. While walking by the river there are some pretty fit 17yr olds (SHAME on me) running around in tight rowing outfits. But on the same time there is a majority of nonfit 15yr olds with spots…oh well at least SOME of them are fit.

3. I cat get out ofbed whenever I fucking want!

I dont want tou count the bulletpoints but Im guessing the bad ones are more than the good ones…

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ps Watched the latest season of Hells kitchen USA (which Im a big fan of, people will litterary kill to win!) and there was this one guy called J (who was shit btw) who always talked about himself in third person. Like “no, J does not like this!” “J does not do that”. What kind of PRICK talks about himself in third person? That is just bringing the art of being an asshole to a new level.

About this “incident” with Daniel Radcliffe smoking pot on a party a while ago. I just read a Swedish mag online and they where talking about it and seriously who the fucking cares?

EVERYONE smokes pot in the UK, everyone! Even dads and moms in their 40’s! If Daniel had been smoking crack done cocaine etc I would have been quite upset myself thinking that he was a stupid ass for doing that, but this, come on! He is what, 20 yrs old? And had a spliff at a party, give the guy a break! Which 20yr old in the UK who’s at a party would turn down a spliff?

After reading and interview with the guy in Attitude (mag for gay men) I really started to like him, he seems like an alright guy. And so what if he has on occations used his fame to get laid, who wouldnt?

Dan, if you read this, stay away from other drugs, but smoke your spliffs in peace!

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Woke quite early today (well early for being me) and after the morning chores (feed cats, change the litter box doing last nights washing up etc) I wanted to sit down with a bowl of milk and some clusters with strawberries. Unfortunately the box of cereal was on the top shelf and I had conveinently put the bowl full of milk on the bench right below. So you can imagine what happened, my hand slipped and I dropped the box of cereal on the bowl of milk resulting in milk all over me and the kitchen. My cats came to rescue and started drinking the milk on the floor and I just felt like I wanted to fall down on the floor and die (and probably be eaten by my cats at a later stage).

In the past 2-3 months I have managed to drop one bottle of olive oil, one bottle of balsam vinegar and one jar of peppercorns on my kitchen floor. All bottles/jars have been made out of glass and have been full of oliveoil/vinegar/peppercorns and my kitchen floor is made out of stone. You could imagine what happens when you drop a glass bottle on a stone floor. Yeah, it fucking breaks!. I think clening up after the olive oil was the worst though.

My dear AJ calls me The Dribbler because I hav on many occations dribbled while drinking any form of fluids. It doesnt matter if its tea, coffe, soda, beer, water, mojito, I have knack for not pressing the bottle/glass all the way to my lip, but to leave a little glich where it all falls down when I try to drink it later on, hence “The Dribbler”. Sometimes I wonder If my brain is so caught up in thinking on other things while I eat/drink, because it thinks I should be able to handle that (I am an adult after all) and gives no attention to my non-dribbling needs.

Oh well at leas the most of my clothes is machine washable!

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ps. Oh, btw, guess who managed to spill shitloads of melted candle wax on the carpet? Me again! If anyone knows how to properly get rid of it, COMMENT.

ps2. Thanks for yesterday Mike!

God I miss IL! Thank god I have Mike (meeting up tmrw!) to help me through this hard time. Ok, I should not be whiny as IL is home to do her exams and also go to her grandfathers funeral. I should be ashamed. Just so you know IL you are very missed!

Not much new has happened this weekend, Im more in to midweek drinking now and then relaxing on weekends. One of the good things of being unemployed, you can get drunk on a tuesday or whatever (pref in the middle of the day) and then not care because you dont have a job to go to the next day! Ok that just sounded sad as hell, I know. But as mr Baker said you have to “look for the silverlining” and Im trying my very best to make out that I have bills to pay and no money to pay it with in the most positive way I can! Or the fact that getting a job now is very very hard. Hurrah!

I DID get a job offer last week. Or an offer of an interview at least. But I said no. It was shit paid for a manager role at my old company. And when I say old company I mean the first place I worked on in London as a customer service proffesional, which is just a nice way of saying “underpaid person who’s rude on the phone”. So this role was obviously a step up, but I still see going back there as a manager a bit of a defeat and Im not giving them that. Plus AJ still works there so I dont think It would be very popular of me to go back. Might seem like I would get an unfair advantage. Anyway, STILL unemployed and doing my best to find a new place to work.

Now its time to watch a very crappy horrormovie, hurra!

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Ok, so yesterday me and Lisa went to a shady pub in some part in London. We talked Swedish quite loudly and when I went up to order a pint there where of course two regulars clocking me going all “so where you from??”And of course they where overweight men of the british standard with yellow teeth and bad skin. The type that works in construction has at least one tatoo and probably a criminal record. No big crimes, just some barfights and getting caught selling stolen items. THAT kind of guy. Anyway they thought we where Russian and when I told them we where Swedish I could feel the sentence “Oh, Sweden eh? Yeah Ive been there once in ‘86″ coming on and then tell me ALL they know about Sweden (ABBA and blong girls who are very easy to get in to bed) and where in Sweden they have been (Euyrebrou, Oppsalla, Stockhålm) but I managed to get out of that conversation quite quickly, thank god!

Anyway, then Jon came along and collected us and a few others and we went to this amazing 18th century building that has been abandoned for many many years. The organisation that owns it wants to tear it down (eve though it should be grade 2 listed!) There have been squatters living there on and off, but there is only one who live there now, and man he was HOT! I saw Lisas look and we both kind of confessed that we both thought he was. Clearly not what I expected. When I told Jon later he went “Im a man and even I think he’s hot!”

Anyway the play was by Jon and two friends of him and it was played out over the four floors in the building, so everytime a scene changed, instead of decor changing, we all went to the next floor. Not only that, on all floors various artists had put their paintings and installations on show so afterwards we could have another walk around to see the art. The play was amazingly funny, but noone cant quite master comedy like Jon so that didnt surprise me. Me and Liz managed to get HotSquat for ourselfes while I was outside endulging a cigarette. I think I got a bit of the 15yr old sickness at the time, haha!

Anyway afterwards we went back to the shady pub and got very drunken. Jon, Z and I where the last to leave, unfortunately the pub we where at was closing. We did stagger around a bit trying to find a place that was open, but it ended up in us all going our separate ways, I even managed to catch the last train so I didnt have to do hours of night bus! It was a wonderful night though and I had a bit of a struggle getting up today, but now Im fine, cuddling on the sofa watching Bones, hurrah! 

Today I have not done very much and its been heaven! Well except for burning a loaf of bread. I thought I should do something nice so I baked. But unforutnately after forgetting about the bread and then discover it 1h and 30min later I had not created something nice, but something more resembling a black rock. That can also be used as a murder weapon…

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Going to see Jon’s play today with Lisa. Apparently its a play/artinstallation/happening all rolled up in to one. And its in an abandoned building. And we have to sign forms before entering that we are willingly entering the house at our own risk. And we are adviced to bring torches. And to dress warm and pee before it starts there will be no heating or toilets. Knowing me I will be all “oh, I dont need the loo!” and then 2min before it starts “jesus christ! I could kill for a toilet!”

Its gonna be very interesting anyway and Im very looking forward to it and also pints with Jon afterwards, hurrah! Its a pity IL is in Sweden and she will be missed!

I just had some rather disturbing news so I need to go. Alls fine, I just need to calm down a bit.

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I have done extensive amounts of cleaning today. I kind of want to die right now. Or maybe a smoke and a pint.

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Yup, Im going to a garden centre today! Im actually very excited! I have started doing this new thing where I grow all my herbs fresh (like basil and stuff) and then a mix them in my mini mixer (like a tiny food blender) with garlic (fresh, but not home grown) and chili (also fresh but not home grown). Then I mix it with olive oil and marinate chicken or salmon or whatever with it. Its soooo delice!

Anyway, I need some plants and stuff, my home (even though I love it) is clearly lacking green living things. Its just makes it a bit nicer. But I have to buy catnip or something to distract the cats cause the last time I bought a flower, my cats chewed it up. I tried to save it but it just looks so sad. I think Im just gonna bin it and buy a new one instead.

Anyway, going to see Jon’s play on thursday and maybe be able to take a pint with the man himself afterwards! Unfortunately noone I know can go so Im going alone…damn you IL for being in Sweden!

Aaanyway, gotta go! Promise to do something drunkenly stupid before the week is gone!

Cheers

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Had a Mojito with Mike today, yay midweek drinking! It all started with hot chocolate and ended with alcohol, def my kind of day! We decided to keep up the midweek drinking, hurrah!

I had a bit of a breakdown today because christmas is coming and I dont have any money for presents but AJ made me feel better as usual, thank god!

Now, Family Guy and American Dad, yay! I might be a tinsy bit drunk…just had some wine with dinner, woohoo!

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